Hi, I'm Dr. Mary

Teacher of Transformation

This is my Story

My name is Mary Filice, and I want to take you back to 1986. I had graduated early, top of my class, from one of the best universities in Canada and had secured a job at one of the top CPA firms in Toronto, Canada. Most importantly, I had met and exceeded the expectations of my traditional immigrant parents who had sacrificed much of their lives to make mine better. And at 24, I couldn’t get out of bed, doubled over in excruciating pain. 

Many years later, it almost seems obvious what was happening, but at the time, I had blinders on when it came to my own condition. This began a process of internal exploration and years later, I can comfortably say that the reason I was so miserable was because I wasn’t living. I was just existing. Most of us are hyper-aware of doubts that scream in our rational minds, yet deaf to the pleading of our own hearts. Supported by the lies we tell ourselves, we focus not on who we are, but on who we think we should be. More often, we focus on who we think other people perceive us to be. Either due to feelings of guilt, responsibility, loyalty or fear, we adopt habits of conformity and display them in the hopes of reaping a naive security; one that keeps us from the truth we know deep down that begs to be let out. Instead of acknowledging this Truth, we distract ourselves with habits and routines and we forget an inherent fact about humanity: that each and every one of us is beautiful, each is unique, and each has a Genius about us. “Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge.”  Recognizing this, sets each of us on the path towards finding true fulfillment.

We are all on a lifelong journey of growth. Life offers us opportunities to discover our image and develop our likeness, often in the form of necessary stumbling and falling. My personal story transitioned when I finally took the time to ask myself who I am; who I really am and what I really want. I transitioned into a career in fashion and the void in my life disappeared. I no longer needed validation from others, because I became confident and aligned with who I AM and how I was living my life. 

One thing kept gnawing away at me. Why did I not see the signs and needed a crisis to happen to shake me out of my auto drive and mediocrity? This question prompted me to investigate. I ended up in a philosophy class to understand what it means to be fully happy and living a “joy filled” and peaceful life. Long story short, that class led to a Masters in Philosophy, a teaching position and then a doctorate, because, the nerd that is part of who I truly AM was finally set free. What I learned was that transformation has little to do with intelligence, willpower, or perfection. It has everything to do with honesty, humility, willingness, and surrender.[i] This is true when it comes to all facets life.So, for the past 20 years I have focused my research on answering the question, “What does it mean to Be fully human.” [i] (Rohr, 2016)

About 6 years ago, I was introduced to the Enneagram. Throughout all my research, nothing has resonated with me as powerfully as this psychological and spiritual tool that reveals a path for recovering your True identity and helps you navigate the journey home to who you are born to be. The Enneagram has become both the starting point and the navigation tool for the Method of Transformation (MOT) I have developed. 

The Enneagram of Personality illustrates the ways we get lost, but also the ways we can come home to our True Self. It exposes how we lie to ourselves about who we think we are and explains the “why” of how we think, act, and feel. It also helps us realize our gifts as well as come to terms with our addictive patterns that chain us to our greatest interpersonal, spiritual, and emotional challenges. The Enneagram invites us to deeper self-awareness and exposes the illusions that have defined our sense of self.[i] It truly is a tool for personal liberation. What took me 20 years of searching and researching, the Enneagram condenses. 

The Enneagram is a tool to waking up and exposing the ways our human nature manages our ego’s collection of coping addictions.It offers mirrors for self-reflection revealing our dominant “type,” and reveals the Truth of self, rooted in our instinctive unconscious that lies behind the mask we call our personality.So, no wonder I was suffocating in my career as an accountant. Nothing within that profession was conducive to my true character of wanting to care and take care of people. Nothing in that career aligned with the person I was born to BE; the Enneagram Type 2, The Helper and Giver. The Enneagram helps to unmask our false identities, exposing the illusion of the personality we develop. It invites us to look deeply into the mystery of our True identity. 

You’ve often heard that you can be anything you want to be. Well that’s not true. I do not naturally have the ability to become a rocket scientist or an opera singer. I just don’t. But I can promise you that you can be everything you are! 

By avoiding artificial conformity and instead by following my inner Truth, I have now had three diverse and delightful careers, travelled the world in search of the answers to what makes us fully human, and no longer have that void. I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend; a professor, student, and entrepreneur.My days of being asleep to my unconscious motivations have transformed into a life lived true to my core Truth. I finally got out of my own way and let me BE me: The Philosopher that wears Loubitons.

At 24 it was my career, at 30 it was the relationship, at 35 it was where I was living. At 55, I found Compassionate Inquiry; Another instrumental addition that augments the effectiveness of The Method of Transformation. Important decisions we make are there throughout your lives. I share my story and my Method of Transformation to spare you from the dis-ease, and dis-content I endured and you may be feeling in any area of your life. Wake up to who you truly are, and the life you are meant to live. I wish you all the best as you begin your journey to find your genius, and learn to love the unique, beautiful person that you Are. 

Thank You,

The Philosopher who Wears Loubitons

Dr. Mary