Hi, I'm Dr. Mary

Teacher of Transformation

This is My Story.

My name is Mary Filice, and I want to take you back to 1986. I had just graduated early, top of my class, from one of the most prestigious universities in Canada. I had landed a job at one of the top CPA firms in Toronto and, most importantly, I had met and exceeded the expectations of my traditional immigrant parents who had sacrificed so much to give me a better life.

And yet, at just 24 years old, I couldn’t get out of bed — doubled over in excruciating pain.

Years later, it’s almost obvious what was happening. But back then, I was blind to the truth of my own condition. That painful season marked the beginning of a deep inward journey. I now know that I wasn’t really living — I was just existing.

Most of us are hyper-aware of the doubts that shout in our minds, yet deaf to the gentle pleading of our hearts. Supported by the lies we tell ourselves, we spend our energy trying to be who we think we should be, or who we believe others expect us to be. Out of guilt, responsibility, loyalty, or fear, we conform — hoping to feel secure, even if it means abandoning the truth we know deep down.

And in that disconnection, we forget something essential:
That each of us is beautiful. Each of us is unique. Each of us carries a Genius within

Life, if we’re willing, gives us opportunities to discover our image and develop our likeness — often through necessary stumbles and sacred falls. My turning point came when I finally asked myself the questions I had been avoiding:
Who am I, really? And what do I truly want?

That inner inquiry led me away from accounting and into the fashion industry. For the first time, the void inside me began to disappear. I no longer needed validation from others because I was finally living attuned to+ who I AM.

But one question continued to gnaw at me:
Why did it take a crisis to wake me up? Why didn’t I see the signs earlier?

That question pulled me into the study of philosophy — initially just to understand what it means to live a happy, joy-filled life. That one class turned into a Master's degree, a teaching position, and eventually a Ph.D. in Philosophy, with a focus on Systematic Theology and Human Development. The inner nerd I had hidden for years was finally free — and thriving.

What I learned changed everything:
Transformation has little to do with intelligence, willpower, or perfection.
It has everything to do with honesty, humility, willingness, and surrender. (Rohr, 2016)

For the past 20+ years, my research, teaching, and coaching have centered around one core question:

What does it mean to be fully human?

10 years ago, I was introduced to the Enneagram, and it felt like a homecoming. It pulled together all the threads of psychology, spirituality, and self-inquiry I’d been studying for decades.

The Enneagram is more than a personality tool. It’s a mirror and a map. It reveals the ways we get lost — and the ways we can come home. It shows how our human nature protects our ego through coping patterns and addictions. It uncovers the masks we wear, rooted in unconscious instinct, and reveals the True Self waiting underneath.

No wonder I was suffocating as an accountant — nothing in that career aligned with my true nature. As a Type 2 — The Helper and Giver, my heart’s desire is to care for and nurture others. The Enneagram helped me reclaim that truth. It helped me unmask the illusions I had worn for years. It helped me see who I really was.

You’ve probably heard the saying: You can be anything you want to be. I don’t believe that. I’ll never be a rocket scientist or an opera singer. But I believe with all my heart that you can be everything you truly are.

By following my Truth — not conformity — I’ve now had three rich and diverse careers. I’ve traveled the world seeking answers to what makes us whole. I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, professor, student, and entrepreneur. And I no longer feel that void.

By avoiding artificial conformity and instead by following my inner Truth, I have now had three diverse and delightful careers, travelled the world in search of the answers to what makes us fully human, and no longer have that void. I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend; a professor, student, and entrepreneur.My days of being asleep to my unconscious motivations have transformed into a life lived true to my core Truth. I finally got out of my own way and let me BE me: The Philosopher that wears Loubitons.

At 24, it was my career.
At 30, it was a relationship.
At 35, it was the place I was living.
At 55, I found Compassionate Inquiry™, the trauma-informed modality developed by Dr. Gabor Maté — now a vital part of my work and the Method of Transformation™ I’ve created.

Life keeps offering us invitations to wake up. And this is mine to you.

I share my story not as a formula, but as an offering — to help you avoid the dis-ease and discontent I once carried. To invite you to awaken to the life that is already calling you. To help you remember the unique, beautiful person you already are.

Wake up to who you truly are — and to the life you were always meant to live.

With love,
The Philosopher Who Wears Louboutins
Dr. Mary